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My Enchiridion

Writer: Murat ErtanMurat Ertan
Dec 20, 202319 min read

Updated: Dec 28, 2023

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Counsellor: Burak A.

Date Forwarded: 11/1/2023.

Date Finished: 12/20/2023.

Review

I agree with the fact that Enchiridion's bits of advice serve quite well on a daily basis. From big to small. But one has to read it with understanding and caution not to miss the semantics. It is not a dish starter book, after all. Yes, It has contributed to me more than any other book I have ever read.


From the Preface

"Everything starts with listening to yourself because if the person doesn't know their own nature, they cannot pass through the inner Void."

This may not be the exact translation, but this is how I would translate it. The void has many faces for many people. For some, it is the vortex, and for some, it is the utter darkness. And for some others, it is the abyss. For me, it was the absence of the sanguine.


The corruption the translator mentions rests inside all of us. We do not come to this world knowing our own destiny. We must fight for it, and before that, we have to have a sense of it. That is why philosophers are essential. They help us to move past the darkness to the light. As the light reveals the truth, one sees the path of outcomes that couldn't have been foreseen.


As the translator mentions Epictetus's example of his leg being broken by his master, he concludes any philosophy should be practical, and it reminded me of Machiavelli. Any set of ideas that do not contribute to our daily lives is not worth the time. It is quite interesting to see such a pragmatic statement of purpose long before Machiavelli…


The voices change, but our nature does not. I couldn't agree more. The voices whisper many things, but it is one's essence that provides the path, the path of Amor Fati—silence to the voices within.

I


There are two ways to not feel dissatisfied. If we accept that any unfulfilled desire causes discomfort, there are two ways to manage the desires: either trying to shrink the desires or having the world fulfil our desires; the third option is to neglect everything which neither cares for desires nor the outside world.


It is correct that, in the short term, most of the things are out of our control. But most beautiful things grow with time. The power of having any unfulfilled desire is to have a chance to bend the world to your will. Ultimately, this advice advises the opposite; it proposes being bent by life and accepting it.


I believe what we can get out of this advice is accepting our inevitable flaws, but instead of passively submitting to them, we challenge them. The things we really should accept are our fundamental desires, and the things we should neglect and fight are the forces that try to shrink them.


I propose a more active stance than Epictetus to life. We should only surrender to love and our loved ones; after all, surrendering to the loved one is the most active thing we can do.

II


This advice goes hand in hand with the first one, which says we should hate only the things we can control. I believe that is right. But I do not know how Epictetus decides what is controllable and what is uncontrollable. In our modern, postmodern world, there are many things that we can control. The lines between impossible and possible have never been that blurry before. Thus, I propose forcing the limits and discovering those bounds instead of actively zoning ourselves. After all, if you try to avoid short-term pain, you invite greater long-term pain.


What should we hate? Well, the factors that zone us! And we should channel that hatred to change the circumstances for the better end. For both us and others.


Again, I propose a more active stance than Epictetus.

III


In this advice, Epictetus advises not to invest meaning beyond the things they are as, if we lose them, we may be broken. That is a hard thing to do. How do you engage with something without investing meaning in it? I believe Epictetus tries to minimize any external conflict to avoid internal conflict. Instead, we should invite pain and reflect on it to become a better version of ourselves. If we avoid pain, we avoid life itself.


Ray Dalio says, Pain + Reflection = Progress.


Epictetus dismisses pain, therefore automatically dismissing progress.


Burak notes, "to give unnecessary meaning…".


I do not think that we can know if we invested either unnecessary meaning (either by investing more meaning than the thing actually required OR investing much less meaning than the thing required) without facing pain. We can only investigate ourselves to see if we feel any discrepancy between the thing at hand and the meaning we assign to it.

IV

Burak notes, "to try to protect one's identity…".



I agree with this advice. We should tune into the moment and do what it takes for us to manage it well. When we go to the bathroom, we should act as if we are in the bathroom, unlike the Dancer who danced in the forest on a cold day. But we should invite some surprises as well, Epictetus! Sometimes, the most unexpected thing happens during the most expected thing.

V


This advice is on an essential interaction with our feelings and thoughts: The thing that worries us is not the thing (situation or outcome) itself, but it is how we are prepared for it (via our thoughts and values).


So, the more we worry, the more we have a chance to change our thoughts and values, evolving in the process.


It is why Epictetus says the one who understands that advice neither blames themselves nor others (life, other people, etc.). So only the blame is deserved to be blamed!

VI


That is a very valuable advice. We should only take pride in things that are within us. Any pride we attribute to external objects or persons does not have strong roots because they are rooted outside. We can have solid ground only when we pride ourselves on the things and behaviours we perform. "Pride" is used for "self-confidence" rather than "vanity" in this paragraph.

VII


This is an invaluable metaphor! Bravos. The ship and the expedition Epictetus try to symbolize the journey for self-understanding. Neither our children nor marriages nor our own neglect should disrupt the call of ourselves. I couldn't agree more.


We must be disciplined. We must commit ourselves to the task at hand and not be distracted by "mushrooms" or "mussels". Fulfilment is far more rewarding than happiness and the "pleasure" of avoiding confrontations.

VIII

Burak notes, "Do not bother yourself for the things you cannot control".



My dear, you are right. But how do you know what is controllable and what is not? If given enough time, water shreds the greatest mountains.


Look, I want you to challenge your circumstances more. Maybe not that much, but at least try. You will see that the controllable things were more than you had thought!


Our ultimate goal should not be happiness and harmony but fulfilment. Remember, risk short-term conflicts to prevent long-term disputes.

IX

We always have a choice, whatever our circumstances force us to do. We always have a choice, even against a disease that inhibits us. And knowing we have a choice is the key to converting inhibition to exhibition.


Burak notes, "Freedom is in mind…"


X

I wouldn't zone myself if the attractive woman was also attracted to me. After all, the only way to let go of the desire is to surrender ourselves to it. Of course, as long as this surrendering doesn't threaten the long-term desires.


Epictetus notes the odds we face require us to develop tools to handle them. Yes, as long as the tools do not corrupt the other tools in our toolbox, all odds are opportunities for growth.


Burak notes, "Not the personal but the universal moral!…"


Kant be praised along with Epictetus!

XI


Seeing everything as something passing is a piece of good advice. It is like embracing the inevitable death of things, pleasure, utility, etc. Rather than mourning what has been taken from us, we may continue our journey to take new things, and the cycle goes on. I believe the essence of the advice is, now, the inevitable end of all things; one day, everything can be taken away from you except yourself.

XII


I do not agree with this advice. It is correct that we must not bother ourselves with small details. However, smaller details may be a warning for future disasters. There is a balance between neglecting and attending. We should keep it well. How? Experiment with yourself!


I also do not think that our "bad" moods are bad things. After all, there can be no ups without downs. By definition, they create each other. Without the sadness, happiness would be very boring. The oscillation is what makes us feel like living. Actually, when we strive to hurt ourselves, we can dig deeper and see the issue. But if we just try to avoid all the pain, we never have a chance to improve our perspective.


And finally, the advice says there is nothing without a cost. I couldn't agree more. There are always opportunity costs.

XIII

Burak notes, "… because the community diverges from nature…"



I really wonder what the Epictetus's definition of "nature" is. Because our civilization is now the product of our animalistic past, animals built it, not angels or cyber architects. So, what is natural?


Cultural norms and norms may restrict some of our behaviour. But as you know, in a laissez-faire society, anything can be obtained for a price (money, time, etc).


Short-term thinking is animalistic, while long-term thinking is more human. We are a synthesis of the animal and the human. There is an optimal balance between them such that when achieved, it is the state of ultimate fulfilment.

XIV

Burak notes “… high ego and personality disorder…”



Burak has rightly concluded that there is a strong correlation between ego and personality disorders. A brilliant inquiry.


What is "Ego"? Is it the individualistic goal orientation, or is it the thing we say I? Depending on the definition, our conclusions differ.


I think any achievement that is based on real things is a thing to be proud of. However, when personality disorders step in, the patient attributes success to himself such that the "success" is created with imagination. Due to the fragility of such illusions, the patient must prove to herself that this is not an illusion. So, you see the egocentric demands. They validate the illusion because if the "illusion" was not correct, then he wouldn't be demanding such things!


Returning to our advice XIV, Epictetus repeats we should only strive for the things that we can control. As I have said in advice II, it is tough to know what is achievable and what is not.


I think we should only embrace the fact that we can do anything, but we can't do everything!

XV

Burak notes, "Don't be selfish, know your bounds!..."



This advice tries to harmonize internal desires and external events by shaping the internal desires according to the external events. For example, Epictetus notes if something passes us by, we should not stop it and let it pass.


I believe that this advice is not a good one. Epictetus conflicts with himself; he is in control of everything by letting go of the control of everything. But, he advised me to let go of the control? I think there must be a balance between accepting what has happened to us and pushing the external limits. Epictetus advises a one-way solution: bend all your desires to the external and accept it so that you protect your "ego" from being in control.


We do not need ego; we only need reality. And this is achieved by seeing. Both the internal and external as they are.

XVI

This is a very good advice. The things we become mad at, sad at and happy at are not the things themselves but the conclusions derived from them (i.e., perceptions). Mostly, perceptions are flawed; thus, our emotional responses are flawed.


Burak notes, "Do not let yourself much to your desires…"



If I had listened to you, I wouldn't have done some things which we both enjoyed. My principle is that, as long as any desire does not inhibit future desire opportunities, desire chasing or pleasure maximization is the most incredible guide anyone can have. Ask yourself, the thing I am about to do, Will it inhibit my future pleasures? If the answer is YES, the thing you are about to do is probably the most significant harm you can do to yourself. After all, we are chasing the most tremendous amount of desire.


As a corollary: Don't limit yourself when it is not necessary.

XVII

Burak notes, "Be yourself."



Being yourself, even at the risk of adversity, is called courage. Courage is not repressing the fear, but by becoming aware of it, you commit to the action.


This is interesting advice; for the most, they have to act in the roles they have been designated to. But for some, they are the role givers. Which one are you?


Inevitably, we will all have to be role players and role givers at some point in our lives. That is the drama of human interaction.

XVIII


That is a good advice. Even at the brink of collapse, when all else is lost, you have the power to change the tables and bend the circumstances. Just searching and being aware of that fact will give you the power. But it comes from within. Any search outside is in vain and reinforces callous circumstances.

XIX


Similar to other pieces of advice before, I do not think we can know or learn in advance what is possible and what is not. Human potential is nearly limitless, and zoning ourselves to the "expectations" is a killing blow to this very divine potential.


But I agree with the fact that any act of goodness is made of the things we are capable of. We cannot do better than what we do not have.

XX

Burak notes, "It is not the person's bad words that anger you, but it is your own belief of that person that she is bad and humiliating."



That is an excellent advice. It is not the act or action that angers us, but is our own beliefs that make us angry, sad, or upset. Epictetus's advice is to wait, and my advice is to dissect your own beliefs to see what really angers you.

XXI

Burak notes, "… do not forget death, and live accordingly with that…"



Death and pain are inevitable. The only thing that matters is how we approach them. I completely agree with this advice.

XXII

That is a very good advice. Perseverance is important for chasing our values, whatever others might think of us. As long as their external mocking doesn't internalize and become internal, at the end of the time, they will be the ones who are ashamed. They envy the persistence they see in a royal philosopher like Hypatia because they do not possess such qualities.

XXIII


That is also a very good advice. We cannot control what others think about us. Their perceptions are usually a distorted version of themselves, not even us. So, having a solid idea of who we are and what we are is the greatest asset. If one cannot know oneself, one will rely on others' opinions, inviting the greatest disaster. We possess ourselves, so we must also take the responsibility of possessing our own opinions about ourselves. A sacred act that cannot be risked being left to others.

XXIV

This is a collectivist stance against the morality of goodness. However, I would like just to mention that two virtues are less than one virtue.



If we do not dance according to our partners, we cannot dance. Nature is a pragmatic partner, so if we cannot dance with it, we are naturally selected. Perhaps the only virtue is utility (basic emotions AND materialism)

XXV


That is very good advice and also a principle: You have to pay for what you get. For certain people's feast, you have to pay for the dinner with the price of eating with such an idiot. However, this is valid for good outcomes, too. If you want to be loved, you have to love as well. This is the principle of prime reciprocity in human relationships.


Without paying the price, you cannot realistically aim for the outcome. Those rarely happen by chance in the real world and mostly happen by imagination in reveries.

XXVI


That's a good advice. Most people do not possess the ability to emphasize the others' pain, but when the misfortune comes to them, they exaggerate it. But that is expected of such narcissistic people, as they know from themselves that in order to let others feel the same remorse, they have to shout and perform dramas. This is their language, and anyone who knows a language assumes others only speak in this language, too.

XXVII


That is a good point. Nothing is bad in itself. Usually, you will see a hurt and wounded person, even within the most sinister people. Look at Joker's (Batman) story, for example. Just Smile.

XXVIII

Burak notes, "Do not let your level be lowered to reply to the other person. That is their Levellessness…"



That is a half-good advice. Let me give you a pseudo code for a better recommendation:


If( insulter is an idiot)

{

            Neglect the other person;

            Do not bother yourself with the insult;

}

Else if ( insulter is a wise person)

{

            Try to understand why you have heard it;

            Ask the person if he is a friend

}

Else if ( you are not sure whether the insulter is an idiot or a wise person)

{

            Just bother yourself for 5-15 minutes;

            Add to the "under investigation" folder in your notes;

}

Else

{

            Neglect the insult;         // Epictetus says only that. Neglects the other branch conditions.

}

XXIX

Burak notes at the beginning, "Before doing something, know the action in detail beforehand".



Yes, please. For your well-being. Every action has risks associated with it, and without being prepared for it, you are leaving yourself in danger.


We are right to chase our desires as long as they do not cause a serious threat to us or have a great chance of posing a threat to us!


This is a piece of good advice but risky because it could be interpreted wrongly, transforming the nuances into bad advice.


The risk analysis is the only rational thing we can do to achieve any outcome or think about the results of any of our actions. This is especially important for major things where we risk our financial capital, health capital, emotional capital or time capital. We can use our gut feelings for minor things because every time you do a risk calculation on them, you become a perfectionist (losing time capital).


The advice is very good at indicating we must choose professions or jobs that are in accordance with our own nature. Also, we should not change our jobs so often, like monkeys who jump from wine to wine all the time. We must persist.


Also, we should be prepared to know what is expected of us in this course of action. If we do not think it is in accordance with ourselves, it is time to change our course of action. Knowing when to leave is a good skill in any area of life. It is the skill of knowing both yourself and others. It is the skill of estimating value.


Burak notes

"In - > philosopher - good person

Outside - > regular - bad person"



Yes, I agree with you my dear.

XXX


That is a very good advice. We can hardly change the other person's reaction to ourselves. The interpersonal dynamic that has been started can hardly be changed because the other person is resistant to change. However, Epictetus offers another way: if we change our behaviours and interpersonal gestures, the relationship may change, perhaps ascend to something that does not harm us anymore. Epictetus says we have the power to change our behaviours, which will eventually change other's behaviours as well.


If you think you are harmed, you are harmed. But please do not repress the fact that by just consciously thinking you didn't receive any harm it will protect you. Harm is dealt with unconsciously as well as received unconsciously. Of course, harm can only be done to "fragile" neurotic ideals. Something natural cannot be hurt…

XXXI


There is, again, the repetition of letting go of things we cannot control. However, there is the underlying observation that we believe something with devotion only when it promises a way to "heaven" or an escape from "hell". Pleasure and security drive most of the things that we believe.

XXXII

Burak notes, "Act normal when you receive good or bad news because you have the power to alter any event to your advantage".



That is a good war principle. Congrats on deriving it from this advice, Burak!


This advice briefly says Amor Fati: Whatever happens, only I remain. My reactions remain. Whatever has happened to me by the external cannot exist without my internal response to it. So I create what happened, not the outside!


Another piece of advice is that we must sometimes risk ourselves because of our love towards another person close to us. I do not think that is risky because when you love, you partly become the other person. So, both logically and morally, you are protecting yourself.

XXXIII

Burak notes, "Do not gossip; do not be two-faced."



It is correct that most people say more than necessary both to themselves and others. Epictetus advises us to speak calmly and with as few words as possible.


Another advice is we should pick our friends carefully because their bad behaviour may spread to us. He also advises not to let emotions take control of our behaviours.


Maybe because of this advice, he just listened without saying anything. But, in the court, if you do not shout your rights, you are automatically branded as guilty. Please at least try to shout what you deserve by not just accepting the claims which may be false. By accepting them, you will hardly make the other party guilty…

XXXIV

Burak notes “Be Realistic”.



Controlling sexual behaviours is a must. But there has to be a balance between them. Too much repression causes hysteria (Freud), and too less repression causes Lust.


When the Lust takes control, it is funny until she disappears. And she comes and goes swiftly like the way she wants you to do so.

XXXV

Burak notes, "Trust yourself. Do not care what others think of you".



If you believe you are right, you have all the permission to do the action. But the key is, how do you know what you are doing is right? This is why philosophy and discussions exist… like the law.

XXXVI

Burak notes, "Think about the others as well, don't be selfish".



There must be a balance between thinking of others and thinking of ourselves. If you think too much about others, you erase yourself for them. If you think too much about yourself, you erase others for yourself. You cannot exist without me, so a balance is required for things to continue to exist.


As the advice says, we must know where our pleasure comes from. If we only think about the pleasure and neglect the giver, the giver may fade, fading the pleasure. Honour the host as much as the feast.

XXXVII


That is a good advice. We cannot do everything, but we can do anything. There has to be a decision. What trade-offs we have chosen determines who we are. Icarus was destined to fall because he wanted to be something else than himself, like Dany and Tywin.

XXXVIII

That is also a good advice. If the operation of the mind is not protected, then only the gods can save the person. The gods which have been killed by the bloody hands of the mortals…

XXXIX

Burak notes, "Zone yourself with moral laws."



There are two ideas about the taboos one may follow. From one perspective, you make your own taboos to not fall from a cliff. In others, when you fall from a cliff, you make it a taboo. Neither is always best or bad…


Desire optimization is a good moral, and anything that inhibits it is taboo. Desire optimization basically asserts:


Maximize my pleasure while minimizing the risk of losing future pleasure.


That is my only moral law, but it changes sometimes…

XL

Women are important, and they are humans. I do not think human nature is divided into two. They are not sexual devices. Epictetus, with honour, accepts this fact.

XLI


That is a good advice. Animals provide the necessary energy for humans to function. If the human is to survive, the animal has to be tended. But if you always tend to the animal, the animal cannot let humans take the stage. A balance between chasing carnal pleasures and psychic pleasures is delicate. When the line is crossed, either way, corruption occurs.

XLII

Burak notes, "difference of levels…"



Everybody is right, and because of that, no one is right. Only with mutual understanding can one transcend the barrier of communication and converge in the meaning.


Mostly, one's insult is a product of their hurt, and it is this reciprocity that causes the insult. After all, even the most "sadistic" people only desire others to feel the way they are: collapsed, without hope and full of despair.


In the end, it seems the prime desire for connection is operating at all public levels of behaviour.

XLIII


That is the principle of Polyhedron. There is always more than one side to viewing any issue at hand. Reality is super-multi-faced. Thus, there are rights and wrongs only in the minds, not in reality. We know as much about reality and ourselves insofar as we are open to exploring this Reality Polyhedron.

XLIV

This is a good advice. Any capital is achieved with some sacrifices. Therefore, there is no perfect one. Everybody lacks something as long as we think of the absolute as the perfect. However, in nature, only the optimum is perfect for survival.

XLV

Burak notes, "Not having prejudices, to judge".



That is a very good advice. Unless we understand why a person is doing something, judging them just based on this observed behaviour is not right. Any behaviour is a realization of motivation. Without knowing the motivation, we cannot know what is realized. That's a good point, too!

XLVI


Don't talk, show…

XLVII


Epictetus says never feel pride due to "prideless" behaviours. I wonder whether this is possible because this behaviour, which was realized, has exciting roots in motivation. However, anything real shows itself, and I agree with that. Anything done is related to someone, so is it possible to do something for its own sake? I don't know.

XLVIII

Burak notes, "Focus on yourself (in), not other people (out)."



This is a good advice. When someone lives according to their judgements, it means they are mature. They are not bothered by the others' perception of them. But there is a thin line between neglecting what others say versus negating what others say. Philosophers neglect others because they have ideas and clues as to why they are not correct. An idiot neglects others because they cannot tolerate differences.

XLIX

Burak notes, "Perform what you have read."



I agree with you; we read to become a better version of ourselves, not to pass the time or perform eye fitness.


However, reading is more than just performing what you read. It is a process of integration of past knowledge with this newly acquired knowledge. If the synthesis is in favour of the book, that doesn't mean you are following the book; you are following the greater wisdom. Knowledge is valuable when there is entropy in data. And life is the most entropic thing you can see.

L


The only danger here is that those principles should not be shoulds. Everything changes, and when the principles do not; you diverge from reality.

LI


This is the best advice I have taken from this book: Do not let yourself back when the situation calls for it. If you think you are doing the right thing when you hold yourself back, you are the greatest fool. People, conditions, the arena, and partners all create some games for you to prove yourself against them. In the arena, when you hold yourself back, you are dead, but if you fight, you have a chance to become the champion and redeem your freedom from inner tyrants. When you prove yourself to others, actually, you are proving yourself to yourself. This is being selfless while being selfish. This is when you finally unite the eternal dilemma of complying and fighting.

LII

Burak notes, "always giving advice while never performing this advice personally".



Every tool is a means to an end. Even the most beautiful tools can be converted into disgusting things under disgusting hands. Philosophy is a tool, and under the wrong hands, philosophy could be converted into state propaganda. Mostly, those states ban exploitation only to allow themselves the monopoly of exploitation.

LIII

What is a wave without the ocean?
A beginning without an end?
They are different, but they go together.
Now you go among the stars, and I fall among the sand.
We are different
 
But we go… together

Conclusion

Who is my Enchiridion? Who is your Enchiridion? Those questions have a meaning that is beyond the scope of those words, sentences and letters.


I am sorry for what has happened so far. I believe that we are both at fault—neither you nor I. But our past doesn't define our future. I know this because I lived that. We have the power to change to a better version of ourselves. The path to that is not apparent and is the most important and difficult one. I do not know how you will cross the dangerous jungle out there, but I know if you want, you have powers in you to do it. Beware of them. Enchiridion is a good guide for some parts of this jungle, and I saw how it benefited you in controlling your emotions in adverse circumstances. However, note that its main advice is to make philosophy and change to circumstances with flexible stances. It is perhaps its greatest advice, being flexible whatever life throws at you while navigating this dangerous jungle.


I personally thank Burak for this wonderful recommendation. It is an interesting coincidence that we had found similar "things" that echoed our nature and provided a path to ourselves before coming to here. It was the first cinder towards the eternal fire. You generously gave yours, and I will provide you with mine:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWFmBYvGW7k (Dissipate).


Like everything included in Enchiridion guided you to yourself, everything in it guided me to myself. We are different, but we go together.

 

 

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