One of the fascinating things about forming any relationship is that there has to be a step where you have to do something that you do not often do, which could risk something you may lose if the other agent is not trustworthy.
Another aspect of determining whether to risk something in a relationship is that you have to have a sense of trust. So, you will know that the other person or agent won’t let you down for the risk taken.
The evolution of trust is one of the ancient themes in any kind of social network. Trust is like a parameter that adjusts the likelihood that the risks you have taken will be favoured so you will gain something out of it. Mistrust is the opposite of trust, but even there, there is the trust to distrust itself. So, you are trusting that the other person won’t be trustable for your particular need.
The two cases I mentioned before are very distinguishing characteristics of a person because they set the style of how the person will favour the development of any relationship. Imagine your new friend arranges a meeting in a restaurant where you have never been before and have no idea of the restaurant’s name. Would you go? Or would you go take all the risks and be prepared for what is to come, and after a delicious meal and a warm chat, you decide to trust the person?
I would like you to think about which person you are for the given scenario.
Would you trust your potential partner before risking emotional hurt, or would you take the risks, and after not getting emotionally hit, you trust the other person?
Neither of those are the always-best methods for cultivating trust. Each circumstance and person will have their own optimal solution. For some people or circumstance, trust is required to take risk with the other person, and for some people or circumstance, the risk will be taken to gain trust.
The more a person has a connection need, the more they will take the risk to build trust. Those types are often depicted as needy types. As a symmetrical pole, the less people have a connection need, the more risk-averse they will become. They are depicted as distant or/and cold types. You can see the dance between taking risks and the thirst for a connection need.
Interestingly, the more the environment is hostile, the more the person will need to have a sense of trust to risk something and vice versa. The more forgiving an environment, the more the other person will take risks to develop trust. Knowing your ground will help you to choose which mode of trust you may choose for the optimal decisions.
The risk–trust dilemma can be applied to any situation where a person risks some of their capital (emotional or financial) for something they need or want in return.
It is very interesting to see the two opposite types coming together in a human relationship. The needy type will risk to trust, and the risk-averse one will observe the needy one to favour the acquired request of risk for trust. Most often, the needy one keeps trying until one day, the risk-averse one decides to trust the risk, seeing all the effort the other has given to cultivate a relationship. It is incredible to see such opposite modes of viewing trust coming together in a relationship. Opposites really attract, it seems, as with the electrical charges.
There is much more to say about trust, but let’s have it for another time. Until that time, as the verse goes
…Come with me now. Trust. Let me inside of your walls…
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